Losing Control, Finding Serenity
"Foreword Reviews Book of the Year Award Finalist! What Would Your Life Be Like If You Simply Let Go of Control? At work, they oversee every detail of every project and expect nothing less than perfection from their coworkers. At home, they obsess over finding the "right" person. Then, they criticize their lover or spouse for doing everything wrong. As parents, they practice zero tolerance for their children's preferred study practices, choice of friends, dress choices, and differing life views. Sound familiar? Everyone knows the type: micromanagers, nitpickers, and domestic despots. Yet, most people fail to recognize the signs of a compulsion to control in themselves--or realize the toll of their behavior on their career, their family, their friendships, and their own happiness. In Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go (Ebb and Flow Press, 2011) Daniel Miller pinpoints the dangers of excessive control, which goes far beyond setting limits and standards, in all aspects of life. What's more, he shows those who feel the pressure to control how to break free and reap unexpected gifts. Sharing his journey of transformation, Miller reveals what happened when he finally decided to "surrender" his blinders fell away, new opportunities emerged, and he experienced unprecedented, profound inner peace. Drawing on psychological insights, spiritual wisdom, and the real-life stories of acknowledged "control freaks," Losing Control, Finding Serenity guides readers through an honest inventory of their control patterns--whether prodding, cajoling, withdrawing, playing the martyr, or intimidating--down to the roots. As most controllers will discover, their compulsion to control is provoked by deep-seated fear, anxieties, and insecurities, then aggravated by anger and resentments. Filled with enlightening true stories, Losing Control, Finding Serenity gives readers the knowledge, the courage, the strategies, and the "decontrol" tools to: *Identify and overcome the control triggers of fear, anger, and resentment. *Avoid avoidance, with techniques for overcoming procrastination and reassuring exercises for resisting the urge to withdraw from loved ones. *Reduce Codependency *Become a less domineering parent, build a family democracy, and reduce the struggles with children. *Find and keep the right person by accepting who he or she is rather than trying to change their romantic partner. *Maintain realistic expectations in sports, whether as a player or a coach, and gain the competitive edge. *Free the flow of creative thinking by varying the perspective, addressing the fear of failure and success, and relaxing rather than over-thinking everything. *Delegate to and trust coworkers to reap increases in productivity, efficiency, and job satisfaction--and reduce conflict and dissension. *Learn to be patient and calmly accept "what is," even when adversity strikes, to enjoy a more fulfilling and serene life. * Pursue your passions and achieve greater life balance. In a chaotic, unpredictable world that's frequently beyond anyone's control, Losing Control, Finding Serenity offers welcome encouragement and validation for going with the flow of life as it is: an ongoing, every changing mystery. Find out how losing control really means gaining control."
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"Daniel A. Miller has done an amazing job in delving deeply into the crevices of how most us would need to be in control, one way or another--in varying degrees--not always realizing how it rules and affects our lives and even more so--the lives and happiness of others.
Daniel has clearly lived it, seen the damage, and has learned from it and has designed a formula to teach people how to change these controls by finding, understanding and releasing issues one step at a time. He has created a way of guiding and educating the reader, in a very understandable and logical way, to help everyone "Let Go". A must read for everyone!"
--IN LIGHT TIMES
"Losing Control, Finding Serenity pinpoints the dangers of excessive control, which goes far beyond setting limits and standards, in all aspects of life. It shows those of us who feel the pressure to control how to break free and reap unexpected gifts.
Sharing his journey of transformation from up-tight control driven attorney to life-loving person who works less and earns more, Daniel Miller reveals what happened when he finally decided to "surrender" his blinders fell away, new opportunities emerged, and he experienced unprecedented, profound inner peace. Drawing on psychological insights, spiritual wisdom, and the real-life stories of acknowledged control freaks, he guides us through an honest inventory of our control patterns, leading us to discover this compulsion is provoked by deep-seated fear, anxiety, and insecurity, then aggravated by anger and resentments. In a chaotic, unpredictable world that's frequently beyond our control, Losing Control, Finding Serenity offers welcome encouragement and validation for going with the flow of life as it is: an ongoing, ever changing mystery."
--The Monthly Aspectarian
"This is a book about finding balance between control and surrender. It grew out of the author's personal struggle to manage his life for maximum productivity and profit. As the glittering world he so doggedly built began to collapse around him, he looked for answers and found them in the places where he least expected to. Now he's passing on the techniques he used to successfully rebuild his career and his life on a firmer, less controlled foundation. Down-to-earth and honest, the book is full of psychological and spiritual insight. It is also full of real world solutions for reconnecting with the natural flow of life and with our personal truth.
This book will be terrific for twelve-steppers who are just beginning to work with the program."
--New Age Retailer Magazine
"Miller explores the dangerous elements of control, fear & avoidance, guiding us through the lessons he has learned as he shares his secrets.... and bravely holds nothing back. Dedicated to helping others face their fears, no matter how intense, Losing Control, Finding Serenity is poetic, philosophical and unselfish; a guidebook to true success, happiness and peace of mind-an empowering collection of modern philosophy by a profoundly inspiring writer."
--Examiner.Com
"There are a lot of great books out there on self-help and I'm sure many are focused on this very same topic, but the guidance offered by Miller is this book is something I'd recommend to anyone struggling with control issues in his or her life. Even if it's not you personally struggling with control, a lot can be learned from reading about what it's like to have issues with control -- and how you can help yourself and others cope with these issues."
--Positively Present
