The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe about Ourselves

"You might not expect this to be a faith and work book, but it's amazing how much shame plays a part in our work. It's 'the emotional weapon that evil uses to (a) corrupt our relationship with God and with each other, and (2) disintegrate any and all gifts of vocational vision and creativity.' Thompson's stories, which range from the personal to the professional, illuminate how shame causes us to isolate and alienate ourselves from one another. Yet his stories also have the power to expose shame in our hearts and in our relationships. This is a beautiful and hopeful book that's both intellectually and emotionally moving."--Bethany Jenkins, The Gospel Coalition, "TGC Editors' Picks: Top Books of 2015," December 2015
"Curt Thompson critiques shame as an elusive phenomenon, hiding in the shadows. In The Soul of Shame, using a theological lens, he drives shame into the light by framing it as a ubiquitous and intrusive force that creates chaos in the mind, isolation in relationships and suffering in the soul. Since shame is relational, he locates healing in nurturing communities rather than the isolated self. Everyone will be enlightened by this illuminating analysis, entranced by the elegant language and filled with hope by the availability of communal healing."--Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, authors of Making Marriage Simple and Getting the Love You Want
"Fans of Brene Brown's work will find in The Soul Of Shame an intelligent, complementary (but not identical) companion to their reading. This book would also be helpful to pastors, spiritual directors, and anyone who finds themselves longing to understand why they do the things they don't want to do--and how to move toward joy instead. . . . 'Every minute of every day we choose between shame and love, ' Thompson writes. It takes intention to combat shame, but, as he reminds us, it is not a battle we fight alone. Our God fights for and with us."--Michelle Van Loon, Patheos, November 5, 2015
"The Soul of Shame provides an in-depth examination of shame and how it affects every aspect of our lives. It is an incredible resource for every pastor who provides pastoral care and counseling. We readily recognize the effects of sin upon the physical body but fail to recognize its impact on the brain that cause neurological changes in the brain which then affects our emotions and thinking. The Soul of Shame will empower pastors and counselors to see that shame is a root issue to most challenges we face in our fallen world. It's a must-read if one wants to be serious about caring pastorally for the Lord's people."--Brad Hoefs, Outreach Magazine's Resources of the Year, March/April 2016
"We need to talk about shame. Curt Thompson's recent book The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves (InterVarsity Press, 2015) does just that and is, in my opinion, one of the most important books written this past year. . . . I don't say this lightly, for there are few books I have read that could ever make this list: this should be a book that every Christian pastor needs to know intimately, every parent should read cautiously for the sake of their children, and most Christians should have access to. It is a book that is applicable to everyone on some level, whether you yourself are dealing with shame or you know someone who is."--Randy Hardman, Seedbed, December 31, 2015
"Though shame often exerts hidden, destructive power over us, The Soul of Shame invites us to find freedom with each other and in God's story of love for us. Curt Thompson weaves together experience, insightful stories, science and Scripture to invite us into a story of healing and flourishing together. This excellent book will help to guide my thoughts and relationships for a long time."--Kent Annan, author of After Shock and Following Jesus Through the Eye of the Needle
"I wish The Soul of Shame had been available when I first started my career in education twenty years ago. This book offers tremendous implications for those of us who work in schools. As all of us were once students, we can all attest to the ways in which shame lurks in classrooms, sowing seeds of discord, doubt and discouragement. In The Soul of Shame Curt Thompson deftly combines the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology with Christian theology, shaped and understood by his own practice as a therapist and his multiple roles as husband, father, son, brother, friend and follower of Jesus. Thompson's mix of stories and science serves to make the particulars of neurobiology accessible and invites the reader to explore the harmful effects of shame in his or her own story. As an educator seeking to serve children living amidst the grim realities of urban poverty, I often discuss our desire to cultivate the ideal conditions for human flourishing and shalom, and Curt Thompson has provided me with the language to name and better understand one of our greatest enemies--shame. But more importantly, The Soul of Shame provides a framework for scorning shame and allowing vulnerability, joy and community to thrive."--Bentley Craft, head of school, West Dallas Community School
"This is a challenging but profoundly life-giving book that teaches us, using many fascinating stories from Thompson's work as a psychiatrist, how to relate to our inner world of thoughts, emotions, and body sensations to the intriguing findings of contemporary brain science, and above all to the biblical story of God's longing that we live openly in the light of his love, delight, and grace. Thus new stories are told."--Richard Winter, Presbyterion, Fall 2015
"Thompson not only provides tremendous insight into these important matters, but also some hopeful practices for a ministry of reconciliation. For those leading spiritual formation and for those teaching others to do so, The Soul of Shame is a worthy addition to the library."--Drew Poppleton, Journal of Spiritual Formation Soul Care, Spring 2016, Vol. 9, No. 1
"In The Soul of Shame, Dr. Curt Thompson reveals how the repressed origins of fear lead to feelings of vulnerability that direct human behavior, often unconsciously. He illustrates how experiences, often from childhood, are transformed into seeds of shame that shape human behavior for a lifetime, influence decision-making and form the stimulus for unconscious responses in our day-to-day personal and professional lives for decades. This is an important read for many audiences seeking advanced insight into human behavior: individuals on a journey toward self-discovery, parents striving to lay a strong foundation for emotional health and maturity in their children, as well as business leaders seeking to provide the safety needed to achieve breakthrough innovation in the workplace."--Janey Price Nodeen, president, Burke Consortium, Inc.
"Of the multiple manifestations of the brokenness within the human condition, none is more insidious and yet dominant than shame. In The Soul of Shame, Curt Thompson has provided an important contribution to the conversation about this difficult topic. In it he guides the reader into an awareness of shame's neurobiological, relational and spiritual underpinnings, revealing its darker purpose, which is to undermine the story of beauty and goodness that God desires us to live. But Thompson does not leave us there. Indeed, he invites us into paths of healing and creativity, opening our minds to the possibilities of renewal not merely for our souls but for our families, churches, schools and businesses. If you are looking for hope in the face of shame, this is a life-breathing place to start."--Jeffrey M. Schwartz, author of You Are Not Your Brain and Brain Lock
"This is a psychiatrist's version of The Screwtape Letters, exposing the most insidious, destructive tool used against humanity since creation. Never has a book so clearly revealed to me that our struggle is not against flesh and blood. Using his background in interpersonal neurobiology, Dr. Thompson shines a bright light of love on the domains of darkness in the layers of our minds to expose and expel the power of shame. This is a life-changing book."--Nicole Johnson, dramatist with Women of Faith, author of Fresh Brewed Life
"There may be 'no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ' but many of us don't behave that way. Read this excellent guide for unearthing the things in your own life that are preventing you from being set free."--Rob Moll, editor at large, Christianity Today, author of What Your Body Knows About God
"Where does our shame originate? And how can we loosen its oppressive hold on our lives? Thompson . . . looks to Scripture and the field of interpersonal neurobiology for insights. 'Shame, ' he proposes, 'is not just a consequence of something our parents did in the Garden of Eden. It is the emotional weapon that evil uses to (1) corrupt our relationships with God and each other, and (2) disintegrate any and all gifts of vocational vision and creativity, ' including 'any area of endeavor that promotes goodness, beauty, and joy in and for the lives of others.' The Soul of Shame gets inside how this process happens--and how it can be reversed."--Christianity Today, September 2015
"I believe (especially after having read through to the very end of this remarkable work) that these insights from a psychiatrist and neuroscientist is just what we need to help us see the exceptional relevance of Biblical truth for daily living. In Thompson's hands, Bible verses come alive, the over-arching redemptive drama makes palpable sense and frames our experience, and God's well-ordered structure of creation--the human brain!--is demystified so we can actually learn to manage what seem like instincts or default reactions."--Byron Borger, Book Notes, September 14, 2015