The Perfectionist's Dilemma
Learn the Art of Self-Compassion and Become a Happy Achiever
Tara Cousineau
(Author)
Shop Other Formats
21,000+ Reviews
Bookshop.org has the highest-rated customer service of any bookstore in the world
Description
“A brilliant book...a must-read for the frazzled perfectionist.” —Thomas Curran, PhD, leading perfectionism researcher and author of The Perfection Trap
Break free of toxic perfectionism by cultivating emotional courage and self-compassion to face life's challenges with a 6-step program.
In today’s high-pressure society, we are constantly fed a fable of individualism, exceptionalism, determination, and ingenuity and taught a mythology of grin and bear it; no pain, no gain; and hard work pays off, despite the fact that the conditions for success are unpredictable and ever changing.
Psychologist Tara Cousineau claims that perfectionism is a paradox: it is the tension created by the need for belonging, a desire for excellence, and a quest for a meaningful and productive life. But perfectionism can be transformed by learning to connect both head and heart, replacing inner algorithms of comparison and criticism with self-acceptance and self-compassion.
In The Perfectionist’s Dilemma, Cousineau introduces an innovative six-step solution based on the acronym EVOLVE:
EVOLVE helps readers overcome perfectionism and cultivate three essential resources—inner worth, inner humanity, and inner leadership. Through storytelling and anecdotes from recovering perfectionists who have participated in Cousineau’s workshops, readers can learn to align mind, body, heart, and spirit—to become happy achievers.
Break free of toxic perfectionism by cultivating emotional courage and self-compassion to face life's challenges with a 6-step program.
In today’s high-pressure society, we are constantly fed a fable of individualism, exceptionalism, determination, and ingenuity and taught a mythology of grin and bear it; no pain, no gain; and hard work pays off, despite the fact that the conditions for success are unpredictable and ever changing.
Psychologist Tara Cousineau claims that perfectionism is a paradox: it is the tension created by the need for belonging, a desire for excellence, and a quest for a meaningful and productive life. But perfectionism can be transformed by learning to connect both head and heart, replacing inner algorithms of comparison and criticism with self-acceptance and self-compassion.
In The Perfectionist’s Dilemma, Cousineau introduces an innovative six-step solution based on the acronym EVOLVE:
- Embody the present moment.
- Validate your experience.
- Open your heart.
- Love your inner critic.
- Make a Vow.
- Spark the Energy of excellence.
EVOLVE helps readers overcome perfectionism and cultivate three essential resources—inner worth, inner humanity, and inner leadership. Through storytelling and anecdotes from recovering perfectionists who have participated in Cousineau’s workshops, readers can learn to align mind, body, heart, and spirit—to become happy achievers.
Product Details
| Publisher | Alcove Press |
| Publish Date | January 07, 2025 |
| Pages | 304 |
| Language | English |
| Type |  Hardback |
| EAN/UPC | 9781639109463 |
| Dimensions | 8.5 X 5.8 X 1.0 inches | 0.8 pounds |
About the Author
Tara Cousineau, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, staff psychologist at Harvard University's Counseling and Mental Health Services, and author of The Kindness Cure: How the Science of Compassion Can Heal Your Heart and Your World (New Harbinger Publications 2018). She is professionally trained in mind-body medicine, mindfulness, mindful self-compassion, and innovative psychological methods, including energy psychology and Internal Family Systems. Learn more at www.taracousineau.com.
Reviews
Praise for The Perfectionist's Dilemma:
“Cousineau's proven, winning method offers innovative new ways for perfectionists to relate better to themselves and others, while achieving the excellence of their full potential with a lot less stress and a lot more joy.”
—Shelf Awareness
“A transformative guide on overcoming perfectionism. By weaving self-compassion, self-acceptance, and resilience, Cousineau provides a practical guide to embracing imperfection and finding true fulfillment. A must-read for anyone seeking balance in a perfection-driven world.”
—James R. Doty, M.D., founder & director of the Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and New York Times bestselling author of Into the Magic Shop and Mind Magic
“In this comprehensive but practical guide, Dr Tara Cousineau explores the roots of perfectionism and its often-hidden toll on your well-being. Whether you are looking for personal change or inspiration for those in your care, The Perfectionist's Dilemma is the guide you must read.”
—Professor Peta Stapleton, Clinical Psychologist, Bond University, Australia, and author of The Science Behind Tapping
“A phenomenal, must-read book for any of us who struggle with perfectionism. Brilliantly integrating psychology, neuroscience, energy psychology, mindfulness, self-compassion research, and more, this book offers a unique framework for understanding the roots of perfectionism and how to work with it.”
—Beth Kurland, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of You Don’t Need to Change to Change Everything
“Cousineau’s perfectionism has paid off! First, she has normalized perfectionism. It is a drive in all of us. She is masterful in showing readers how to harness this natural force so your life will be more balanced, happier, and more successful—as close to perfect as wise guidance is likely to bring you.”
—Donna Eden and David Feinstein, Ph.D., co-authors of Energy Medicine: Balancing Your Body’s Energies for Optimal Health, Joy and Vitality
“Dr. Cousineau helps you open your heart, love abundantly, and foremost find vitality and meaning in this precious journey of life.”
—Lisa Miller, Ph.D., Professor, Columbia University and author of The Awakened Brain
“A user’s manual for anyone walking around with a nervous system. What sets this book apart is its warmth, wisdom, and belief in human potential.”
—Terri Trespicio, author of Unfollow Your Passion
“This beautiful book imparts diverse insights about perfectionism, weaving together clinical psychology and neuroscience, to help people overcome their harsh inner critic and develop a greater sense of self-compassion.”
—Shauna Shapiro, author of Good Morning, I Love You
“Provides a timely set of actionable tools to understand and overcome the downsides of perfectionism to unlock more courage, happiness and success in your life.”
—Joe Burton, author of Creating Mindful Leaders
“Thoughtfully written, well organized, and packed with insightful tips."
—Holly Rogers, cofounder, The Mindful Institute for Adults
“Cousineau's proven, winning method offers innovative new ways for perfectionists to relate better to themselves and others, while achieving the excellence of their full potential with a lot less stress and a lot more joy.”
—Shelf Awareness
“A transformative guide on overcoming perfectionism. By weaving self-compassion, self-acceptance, and resilience, Cousineau provides a practical guide to embracing imperfection and finding true fulfillment. A must-read for anyone seeking balance in a perfection-driven world.”
—James R. Doty, M.D., founder & director of the Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and New York Times bestselling author of Into the Magic Shop and Mind Magic
“In this comprehensive but practical guide, Dr Tara Cousineau explores the roots of perfectionism and its often-hidden toll on your well-being. Whether you are looking for personal change or inspiration for those in your care, The Perfectionist's Dilemma is the guide you must read.”
—Professor Peta Stapleton, Clinical Psychologist, Bond University, Australia, and author of The Science Behind Tapping
“A phenomenal, must-read book for any of us who struggle with perfectionism. Brilliantly integrating psychology, neuroscience, energy psychology, mindfulness, self-compassion research, and more, this book offers a unique framework for understanding the roots of perfectionism and how to work with it.”
—Beth Kurland, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of You Don’t Need to Change to Change Everything
“Cousineau’s perfectionism has paid off! First, she has normalized perfectionism. It is a drive in all of us. She is masterful in showing readers how to harness this natural force so your life will be more balanced, happier, and more successful—as close to perfect as wise guidance is likely to bring you.”
—Donna Eden and David Feinstein, Ph.D., co-authors of Energy Medicine: Balancing Your Body’s Energies for Optimal Health, Joy and Vitality
“Dr. Cousineau helps you open your heart, love abundantly, and foremost find vitality and meaning in this precious journey of life.”
—Lisa Miller, Ph.D., Professor, Columbia University and author of The Awakened Brain
“A user’s manual for anyone walking around with a nervous system. What sets this book apart is its warmth, wisdom, and belief in human potential.”
—Terri Trespicio, author of Unfollow Your Passion
“This beautiful book imparts diverse insights about perfectionism, weaving together clinical psychology and neuroscience, to help people overcome their harsh inner critic and develop a greater sense of self-compassion.”
—Shauna Shapiro, author of Good Morning, I Love You
“Provides a timely set of actionable tools to understand and overcome the downsides of perfectionism to unlock more courage, happiness and success in your life.”
—Joe Burton, author of Creating Mindful Leaders
“Thoughtfully written, well organized, and packed with insightful tips."
—Holly Rogers, cofounder, The Mindful Institute for Adults
Earn by promoting books
Earn money by sharing your favorite books through our Affiliate program.
Become an affiliate
