Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes

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Product Details
$18.95  $17.62
New Harbinger Publications
Publish Date
6.2 X 8.6 X 0.8 inches | 0.6 pounds

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About the Author
Aurisha Smolarski, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified co-parenting coach, and mediator with a clinical practice in Los Angeles, CA. She specializes in working with co-parents, couples, and individuals. As a mom and co-parent herself, she is very familiar with the challenges faced by parents raising kids in two households. For more than ten years, she has drawn on attachment theory and other modalities to help clients navigate their emotional whirlwinds and create a secure co-parenting family.

Foreword writer Hunter Clarke-Fields, MSAE, is creator of Mindful Parenting, host of the Mindful Parenting podcast, and author of Raising Good Humans and Raising Good Humans Every Day.
"Divorce and separation are a shock. Aurisha's practical exercises guide co-parents through the messy transitions and turbulent emotions to ease everyone through their upset and grief. Experiential activities offer self-awareness and opportunities to repair attachment wounds. When adults gain insight and skillfulness to heal themselves, children's secure attachment needs become prioritized with less stress--despite deep divides and different attachment styles. This brilliant book is a godsend in navigating divorce."
--Maggie Kline, coauthor of Brain-Changing Strategies to Trauma-Proof Our Schools, Trauma Through a Child's Eyes, and Trauma-Proofing Your Kids--Maggie Kline
"As a licensed marriage and family therapist and divorced mom, Aurisha Smolarski knows how the bickering and battles of divorced parents can hurt a child. If you've been searching for the best guidance and tools for co-parenting, you've found the right book. Aurisha introduces the principles of secure attachment so you can form a cooperative team and improve your co-parenting approach for your child's benefit. This book is co-parenting gold."
--Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, and author of Wired for Love and In Each Other's Care--Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
"Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids offers the guidance and insight co-parents need to provide security for their children, even in the midst of a separation. Smolarski's helpful exercises, grounded advice, and easy-to-grasp framework provide a road map to navigating interactions with each other and their child. I look forward to sharing this book with many families."
--Tina Payne Bryson, LCSW, PhD, New York Times bestselling coauthor of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline, and author of The Bottom Line for Baby--Tina Payne Bryson, LCSW, PhD
"This book is so needed! One of the biggest stressors for parents after they decide to end their romantic relationship is how to continue parenting their kid(s). This is where Aurisha Smolarski's book comes in. She takes the fear and the stigma out of this challenging time and lays out a science-based, practical, and thoughtful guide to help parents offer a secure base for their child going forward."
--Kara Hoppe, MFT, author of Baby Bomb--Kara Hoppe, MFT
"Co-parenting is not easy, even if both partners are committed to putting their children's sense of security first. It's even harder when one or both parents is overwhelmed with anger, loss, or worry. This book provides a useful road map, based on a deep understanding of attachment theory. The core principles and practical strategies can help any co-parent get started on a healthy path, or course-correct to a better co-parenting relationship."
--Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting and The Opposite of Worry--Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD
"With thirty years in family law, I value awareness. Aurisha Smolarski's Cooperative Co-parenting for Secure Kids is transformative. Highlighting co-parenting challenges and offering attachment theory-based solutions, it's more than a guide--it's a lifeline. Essential for families seeking a harmonious, restructured future."
--Susan Guthrie, leading family law attorney, mediator, and host of the award-winning Divorce and Beyond Podcast--Susan Guthrie
"An illuminating, hopeful, and highly practical guide. Smolarski reframes co-parenting in the most empathic and eye-opening way, and gives parents a personal road map to a secure and healthy relationship with their kids and themselves. It's a must-read!"
--Heather Turgeon, psychotherapist, and coauthor of The Happy Sleeper--Heather Turgeon
"My clients eventually realize that being a peaceful parent is not about our child--it's about managing ourselves. This is also true of co-parenting. Aurisha teaches us how to regulate ourselves, manage our own difficult feelings, and successfully navigate the co-parenting relationship while compassionately supporting our child so that they can flourish growing up in two households. I recommend this book for every parent of a child with two houses!"
--Sarah Rosensweet, peaceful parenting coach and educator; and host of the top-rated podcast, The Peaceful Parenting Podcast--Sarah Rosensweet
"Smolarski offers a practical and empathetic guide for separated caregivers to building a co-parenting relationship that helps kids flourish... In this guide to creating "a co-parenting relationship that allows your child to thrive," she outlines three different attachment styles and how they affect family interactions and details key principles newly separated caregivers can follow to prioritize their child's emotional security during challenging times... The chapters cover the nature of the co-parenting relationship, making decisions, dealing with your child's emotions (and your own), developing shared values and effective communication, resolving conflicts, and maintaining consistency across two homes... Throughout the book, Smolarski emphasizes self-compassion and argues persuasively that one parent can improve family dynamics to reach what she terms a "win-win-win" by implementing her suggestions even when the co-parent isn't fully on board. Her realistic and relatable examples include diverse family structures, with children of all ages... A helpful and reassuring model of how ex-partners can put their child's happiness first."
--Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
-- "Kirkus"