Splitopia bookcover

Splitopia

Dispatches from Today's Good Divorce and How to Part Well
4.9/5.0
21,000+ Reviews
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Description

Packed with research, insights, and illuminating (and often funny) examples from Paris’s own divorce experience, this book is a “practical and reassuring guide to parting well.” —Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project

Engaging and revolutionary, filled with wit, searing honesty, and intimate interviews, Splitopia is a call for a saner, more civil kind of divorce. As Paris reveals, divorce has improved dramatically in recent decades due to changes in laws and family structures, advances in psychology and child development, and a new understanding of the importance of the father. Positive psychology expert and author of Happier, Tal Ben-Shahar, writes that Paris’s “personal insights, stories, and research” create “a smart and interesting guide that can be extremely helpful for those going through divorce.”

Reading this book can be the difference between an expensive, ugly battle and a decent divorce, between children sucked under by conflict or happy, healthy kids. This is “a compelling case that it’s high time for a new definition of Happily Ever After—for everyone” (Brigid Schulte, author of Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time).

Product Details

PublisherAtria Books
Publish DateMay 30, 2017
Pages336
LanguageEnglish
TypeBook iconPaperback / softback
EAN/UPC9781476725529
Dimensions212.7 X 139.7 X 25.4 mm | 348.4 g

About the Author

Wendy Paris is a journalist and essayist whose work on marriage, relationships, and contemporary culture has appeared in The New York Times, Psychology Today, Glamour, Brides, QZ.com, Salon.com, Travel & Leisure, Essence, and Marketplace radio. She was a 2014 Fellow with New America Foundation, a 2013 Fellow with Encore.org, a MacDowell Colony Fellow, and a Visiting Artist at the 18th Street Arts Center. She has an MFA in creative nonfiction writing from Columbia University and blogs about the good divorce at WendyParis.com and PsychologyToday.com. She and her ex-husband and son moved together, separately, from the New York area to Santa Monica, California, while she was writing this book. Find out more from WendyParis.com and follow her on Twitter @WendyParis1.

Reviews

Splitopia is the essential resource for anyone who wants a “good” divorce—one that allows both partners to pass through this wrenching transition with mutual respect and affection. Packed with research, insights, and illuminating (and often funny) examples from Wendy Paris’s own divorce experience, this book is a practical and reassuring guide to parting well. Divorce isn’t a happy experience, but for many people, it can lead to a happier life.”
"Finally, a book that shows there really can be a good divorce (even after the marriage has turned bad). Splitopia is a great resource and an engaging, moving read by a wonderfully subtle, skilled writer. Drawing on the author's own experiences, changes in divorce law and practice, and hundreds of studies, it has useful advice, helpful hints—and much humor."
"Splitopia is an important book. Divorce is hard, but there are approaches that minimize the pain and set people on a path to healing. When kids are in the mix, this work is crucial. Great solutions come when you have the benefit of the best thinking in the room, in divorce and in politics. In an adversarial context, that kind of creativity and benefit just can't happen. We need t be able to focus on our shared aspirations. Splitopia suggests a path for how to do this."
"In Splitopia, Wendy Paris has set out not only to write the essential and supremely practical guide to the good divorce, but to change how we think and talk about the way we dissolve what were once expected to be indissoluble unions. Rather than lasting until death, Paris asks, why not see marriages as successful for lasting as long as they last? Filled with history, research on everything from child development and mediation to loneliness and resilience, and a wide array of engaging stories that themselves serve as a reminder of just how common divorce, and often the bad divorce, is, Splitopia makes a compelling case that it’s high time for a new definition of Happily Ever After – for everyone."
A smart, thoughtful, and well-written antidote to the popular idea that divorce is a toxic event for parents and children. Think of it instead as a family reorganization – a period not just of crisis but also of opportunity for growth and development. Paris shows that a carefully planned and thoughtfully executed divorce can result in a better quality of life for parents and children. She is particularly astute in recommending that couples consider innovative options for the legal aspects of their divorce such as mediation, unbundled legal services, and collaborative law. They help couples avoid protracted courtroom combat that can become all-consuming for them and their children, make wise choices for the future,and get on with their lives productively.”
"Combining personal insights, stories, and research, Wendy Paris created a smart and interesting guide that can be extremely helpful for those going through divorce."
"A good divorce is possible. Wendy Paris makes that case and explains how. Through Splitopia’s compelling stories and deep research, we gain insight into marriage, separation, and life well-lived."
"Splitopia is a wonderful blend of storytelling and social science -- a book that amuses and captivates while dispensing shrewd advice based on solid psychological research. It's a practical guide that also lifts the spirit. Breaking up is hard to do, but reading Wendy Paris is a pleasure."


“This a wonderful book. I think anybody going into a relationship should read this. In many ways, this may be the most comprehensive approach to relationships that I’ve seen.”
“Paris is like an older, wiser friend who cheerfully shares her advice and counsel. Particularly useful as a guide for clients, Splitopia also provides valuable insights for lawyers on how our clients might be experiencing divorce and on the types of non-legal advice we might provide to support them outside of our offices.”
“[A] litany of doom is the prevailing divorce narrative, perpetuated by pundits, popular culture, and moralizers. Paris is having none of it. In Splitopia, she does not tiptoe over the heartache or the pain of ending a marriage, but she does gift us with a compassionate, compelling, carefully-researched account of a new and more humane story of divorce—one in which the main characters can become better people in the end. Paris is an engaging storyteller and gifted teacher.”

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