Saint Unshamed: A Gay Mormon's Life: Healing From the Shame of Religion, Rape, Conversion Therapy & Cancer
Description
The first paragraph of Kerry Ashton's memoir explains a lot:
"I told this story once as fiction in the 1980s, but this time I tell the truth. I even tell the truth, in #MeToo fashion, about being violently raped by another man when I was 18, with a knife held to my throat--a secret I kept from everyone, including myself, for over 40 years. The rape, like other experiences I endured while a student at Brigham Young University, where I came out in the early 1970s, had a profound impact on my later life. But this story is not so much about my rape or my coming of age at BYU, as it is about the lifelong effects of shame itself, not only about how I internalized and inherited a wounding shame from my Mormon upbringing, but also how I eventually unshamed myself. It is about a lifetime journey of spiritual growth, self-discovery and healing, including many miraculous events along the way that pushed me forward through the darkness toward the light."
Telling about his experiences during his four years at BYU--the rape, falling in love for the first time, police surveillance, harassment and arrest, while enduring three years of conversion therapy, including two years of electroshock treatments--provide the structure of Kerry Ashton's memoir. But intermittently he shares memories from growing up Mormon in Pocatello, Idaho, and from his adulthood. In one episode, the author talks about his mother's passing, and how he unconsciously blamed himself for her death. In others, Kerry describes some of the battles with his religious father, and how he and his Dad eventually came to forgive each other. These stories, like many others shared in the book, are poignant. Some--like the description that Kerry provides of his rape--are sexually graphic. Some stories are hilarious. And some are dramatic, like those dealing with the domestic violence Kerry endured as a child.
The author also shares memories from his professional career as an actor and writer, both in L.A. and NYC, describing his personal encounters with stars like Barbra Streisand, Elizabeth Taylor, Bette Davis and Julie Harris, while sharing his experiences with famed writers Tennessee Williams, James Leo Herlihy (author of MIDNIGHT COWBOY), and John Rechy (author of THE SEXUAL OUTLAW), as well as his brief but profound affair with Steven Sondheim. Lastly, the author talks about the 12 years he spent in therapy, about his 16-year battle with a rare and disabling cancer only recently won, and about his sexual journey that led him through S&M, kinky sex, and the leather scene, to the loving monogamous relationship he now enjoys.
All of the stories that Ashton shares from his life deal with shame, either in how the author internalized shame and turned it against himself, or how he later rid himself of most of it to become a SAINT UNSHAMED.
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About the Author
Reviews
SAINT UNSHAMED has recieved four Editorial Reviews thus far, all raves:
"A TRIUMPHANT MEMOIR about how one man managed to find a way out of a culture that would silence him! BRUTAL, GRAPHIC, AND HISTORICAL, the memoir tells a harrowing story. Shamed by his family and policed and punished by BYU, Ashton nevertheless emerged the victor. Though the memoir progresses to the present, Ashton's young adulthood and childhood produce the best-wrought scenes with the most at stake. The pacing and the tension there is literary; the scenes are full of action and reaction! Devastating but ultimately hopeful, SAINT UNSHAMED is insightful... and revealing. A TRIUMPHANT MEMOIR about how one man managed to find a way out!"
FOREWORD / CLARION REVIEWS
"Ashton has clearly led a long, fascinating life. The care and detail he brings to his childhood and first years in New York, feature wonderful run-ins with celebrities, such as Bette Davis and Stephen Sondheim. The memoir's structure is smart, as it allows Ashton to develop a single, riveting story about his growing love for another man and his battle with BYU's unrelenting moral standards. Along the way, he adds rich perspective as he alternates between the troubled child he was, and the proud, openly gay man that he eventually became. A MOVING COMING-OUT STORY with an intriguing narrative structure!"
KIRKUS REVIEWS
"A POWERFUL, EXTENSIVELY DETALED MEMOIR! Ashton is a passionate, unfailingly candid narrator. Using vivid detail, he crafts absorbing scenes. A detailed record of one man's hurt and healing, while many more with similar stories have yet to speak of their pain!"
BLUEINK REVIEWS
"Ashton explores the innermost parts of his psyche. The story was touching and had a strong sense of authenticity. Ashton has an ability to provide the reader with AN IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE, AND HE DRAWS ONE IN FULLY!"
ONLINE BOOK CLUB REVIEW
WHAT CRITICS HAVE SAID ABOUT KERRY ASHTON'S PREVIOUS WORK:
"A lot of care and time have clearly been lavished on this impressively mounted" work.
Ben Brantley, THE NEW YORK TIMES
"Kerry Ashton has an impressive list of credits, and is clearly a talent to be encouraged!"
Byron Belt, NEWHOUSE NEWSPAPERS
"Amusing and touching! Remarkable and superb! Ashton's style and wit are so quick as to leave us dazed. If the renaissance man has returned to our midst, his name must surely be KERRY ASHTON!"
Martin Schaeffer, NEW YORK THEATER WEEK
"Succeeds exceptionally well! Entertaining and moving!"
John Mahoney, LOS ANGELES TIMES
"Truly splendid! Ashton is mesmerizing, breathtaking, and utterly magnificent!"
Jack Bradford, THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER
"Brilliant! A triumph not to be missed! Ashton proves himself to be one of the most versatile and mutli-talented artists to emerge in the last several years!"
Sven Rye, THE HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS
"A touching and human portrait, amusing and poignant ... a timely illustration!"
Susan Forscey, LOS ANGELES HERALD EXAMINER
