Put Your Past in the Past: Why You May Be Reenacting Your Trauma, and How to Stop
Stop repeating your past, and find lasting healing for the future.
Millions of us are desperately trying to rewrite our past by unconsciously repeating it--unknowingly reenacting the traumatic events in our lives in an effort to complete unfinished business or undo what was done to us. These unconscious efforts to undo trauma only bring more pain, more disappointment, and more psychological damage. Reenactments can take the form of self-destructive behavior, unhealthy decisions, choosing the wrong partners, getting stuck in repetitive emotional cycles, or sabotaging chances at success. Understanding and eliminating these reenactments is an essential part of the healing process. Unfortunately, this topic hasn't been addressed enough by psychotherapists and other mental health professionals.
In Put Your Past in the Past, renowned psychotherapist Beverly Engel offers the first accessible and comprehensive book on emotional reenactments. First, the book will help readers make their unsuccessful efforts to repair their past more conscious. Next, Engel offers powerful strategies to help readers truly heal their past, not by unwittingly repeating it, but by attending to their original wounds, and embracing self-compassion.
Unless we process past traumas, we can't heal them. Put Your Past in the Past will help you face your past head-on to find true and lasting wholeness.
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Beverly Engel is an internationally recognized psychotherapist and expert on the subject of trauma. She has written 25 books on the related subjects of abuse, shame and empowerment, including The Emotionally Abusive Relationship and Healing Your Emotional Self. Her books have been translated into many languages, including: Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Greek, Turkish, Lithuanian and Polish. She has a blog on Psychology Today entitled The Compassion Chronicles and her writing has been featured in Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Marie Claire, The Chicago Tribune, The Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, The Cleveland Plain Dealer, and The Denver Post.
"Beverly Engel has created a wonderful literary resource for trauma survivors--a well-thought-out, easy-to-understand guide on how to heal from cycles of trauma reenactment. This book helps you understand why you continue to find yourself in unhealthy relationships, or why you may have turned out exactly like your mother or father despite your best efforts not to. Beverly's well-researched guide feels very much like a warm, caring therapist helping you understand how trauma has impacted you and how to navigate your healing journey. If you have ever found yourself repeating unhealthy patterns or cycles, or attracting toxic people over and over, this book will give you newfound clarity and raise your self-awareness. Even if it seems you have read every book on trauma imaginable, you will learn something new in this one. What I love most about this book is the normalization of human experiences of pain and how easy it is to become stuck in hurtful places. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is recovering from trauma." --Dr. Natalie Jones, PsyD, LPCC, psychotherapist and creator of the A Date with Darkness podcast
"It's amazing how unaware we can be to the fact that we are reenacting a past trauma in our present lives--whether it be continually getting involved with abusive or rejecting partners or becoming abusive or rejecting ourselves. In this powerful book Beverly Engel helps readers to identify their reenactments and shows them how to discover their origin. Then she expertly guides readers through a program to help them process their trauma and unfinished business and break free from their past. I enthusiastically recommend this book for anyone who is stuck in destructive patterns." --Randi Kreger, author of the Stop Walking on Eggshells series of books
"Beverly Engel's new book on trauma is a comprehensive, powerful, and in-depth workbook for identifying and healing trauma, including unremembered trauma, because 'symptoms and triggers are your memories.' It's an incredible resource for psychotherapists and anyone who has behaviors and relationship issues that have been resistant to change." --Darlene Lancer, LMFT, author of Conquering Shame and Codependency and Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist
"For decades Beverly Engel has been an important source of understanding, support, and healing for many survivors. This book will, no doubt, be a valuable addition to the recovery literature, and will inspire its readers in their recovery." --Mike Lew, author of Victims No Longer
"Unconscious reenactment patterns can wreak havoc on trauma survivors' lives and the lives of those who love them. Beverly Engel skillfully and thoroughly addresses this important and often-overlooked topic in Put Your Past in the Past. The book includes excellent reflections and practices to help readers identify and eliminate a deep-rooted need to reenact, freeing them from some of the strongest and most painful binds to their past." --Erika Shershun, LMFT, author of Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook
