If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry: How Death, Debt, and Comedy Led to a Life of Faith, Farming, and Forgetting What I Came Into This Room for
In this laugh-out-loud and heartfelt memoir, writer, speaker, and podcaster Molly Stillman shares her unforgettable story of losing her mother, squandering an unexpected quarter-of-a-million-dollar inheritance in less than two years, attempting to launch a career in comedy but ending up on a farm instead, and finding faith, hope, and joy in the middle of it all.
Molly Stillman has lived the type of life that when shared, people stop in their tracks and ask, "Wait, what happened?" Molly's mother, Lynda Van Devanter Buckley served as an Army nurse during the Vietnam War and wrote the bestselling memoir, Home Before Morning. When Molly was seventeen, Lynda passed away after an eight-year battle with an autoimmune disorder due to her exposure to Agent Orange. Four years later, Molly turned twenty-one and unexpectedly inherited a quarter of a million dollars from her mother's estranged family's estate. Through "retail therapy" and a long series of grossly irresponsible financial decisions, Molly found herself broke with over $36,000 in credit card debt less than two years later. Shame, guilt, and embarrassment set in.
With aspirations of a career in comedy, Molly used humor to mask the pain and brokenness she felt, believing that if she looked joyful and put together on the outside, it would eventually be true on the inside. Instead, she spent the next few years depressed, lonely, and feeling alienated from those closest to her. But an unlikely call with a compassionate credit counselor, meeting the spreadsheet-loving man who eventually became her husband, and a surprising visit to a church started her on a path that changed everything.
If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry will bring readers into the tension of feeling both joy and grief and show them that every broken, messed up story has a purpose, and it's possible to gain everything if they're willing to surrender it all to Jesus.
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Molly Stillman is the host of the Can I Laugh on Your Shoulder? podcast and a sought-after speaker. The lifestyle blog she started in 2007, Still Being Molly, is a community for women who love ethical style, clean beauty, parenting, funny stories, and serving in their communities. Her deep passion lies in inspiring women to know they were created on purpose, with a purpose, and for a purpose. Molly lives with her husband John, children Lilly and Amos, and various and sundry animals on a small farm in Durham, North Carolina. She loves Jesus a whole lot, drinks too much Diet Coke, and eats a lot of Chipotle burritos. You can find her on the internets at stillbeingmolly.com.
'If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry is for the girl who has been told that she's 'too much' or the seeker who isn't sure that she will ever be 'Christian enough' for God to love. You have always been worthy. And Molly Stillman wants to make sure you know it.'--HEATHER THOMPSON DAY, AUTHOR OF I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW
'Being human is hard, and what we suffer on this side of heaven is often unbearable and unbelievable. Molly adds levity to our shared human experiences and offers comforting and practical insight. You'll want to get a copy of this book for everyone you know and love.'--ASHLEY ABERCROMBIE, AUTHOR OF RISE OF THE TRUTH TELLER AND LOVE IS THE RESISTANCE
'For all of us who have lived hard parts of our story, both by the things that have happened to us and the things we brought on ourselves, this is the anthem we've been waiting for--a permission slip to laugh again, to live again, and to finally forgive ourselves for taking the long way around.'--MARY MARANTZ, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF DIRT AND SLOW GROWTH EQUALS STRONG ROOTS AND HOST OF THE MARY MARANTZ SHOW
'I wept my way through the final chapter of Molly's book and laughed at its ending. Her story is a story for each ofus: one of soul-jarring tragedy, bone-headed mistakes, aimless wandering--and the grace of a God whose relentless love meets us in the midst of it all. I hope you will read it and find that same grace and love waiting for you.'--STEVE BEZNER, PASTOR OF HOUSTON NORTHWEST CHURCH
'Living up to its title, If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry is equal parts comedy, tragedy, coming of age, and coming to faith, all brilliantly bound up in to one. If you are looking for real hope and resilience to guide you through life's hardest trials, this book is also for you.'--SHARON HODDE MILLER, AUTHOR OF THE COST OF CONTROL
'Molly has written with such vulnerability and tenderness that anyone who reads this book will be assured that they are not alone. If you begin reading the book in tears, you will finish it with laughter and a glimmer of joy. This book is a true gift!'--DANIEL GROTHE, AUTHOR OF CHASING WISDOM AND THE POWER OF PLACE
'Molly's journey and her retelling of it is full of both heartbreak and hope. It will inspire you to see your own life through a lens of redemption and possibility, while simultaneously reminding you to lighten up a bit and not be afraid to laugh at yourself every once in a while.'--LIZ BOHANNON, FOUNDER OF SSEKO DESIGNS, AUTHOR OF BEGINNER'S PLUCK, AND HOST OF THE PLUCKING UP PODCAST
'Molly's unique ability to blend humor with heartfelt storytelling makes this memoir a delightful and inspiring read for anyone looking to find hope and purpose amid life's challenges.'--JESSICA HONEGGER, FOUNDER OF NOONDAY COLLECTION AND AUTHOR OF IMPERFECT COURAGE
'Thank goodness this class clown made it out of the classroom and into our literary world! In IfIDon'tLaugh, I'llCry Molly does a fantastic job of not only inviting us into her life but making sure to welcome us with vulnerability and grace. By the time you reach the end, you just might find that you're exactly what you've been looking for.'--TYLER MERRITT, AUTHOR OF I TAKE MY COFFEE BLACK AND CREATOR OF THE TYLER MERRITT PROJECT
'This book will definitely make you laugh a little, see yourself in Molly's honest words, and leave you inspired to live a full life that honors God. I read it in one sitting and highly recommend it!'--KRISTEN WELCH, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF RAISING GRATEFUL KIDS IN AN ENTITLED WORLD
'Through her incredible resilience, Molly Stillman teaches us that it's never too late to find faith, hope, and joy in the most unexpected circumstances. If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry will empower you as you take the next steps in your personal journey.'--BOLA SOKUNBI, FOUNDER AND CEO OF CLEVER GIRL FINANCE AND BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE CLEVER GIRL FINANCE SERIES AND CHOOSING TO PROSPER
'Usually a memoir like this is written from old age, but Molly has live done thousand lifetimes in her three decades and remembers so many delightful and haunting details that you'll be turning pages faster and faster to find out what happens.'--REBECCA SMITH, AUTHOR OF A BETTER LIFE
'Molly Stillman's vibrant funny voice shines through in her memoir, If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry. Her story is ultimately uplifting and inspirational, with a happy ending that is both hard won and ferociously fought for. Her message is clear and strong: through faith and family and Jesus, all things are possible.'--KRISTIN HANNAH, #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR
