Four Funerals and a Wedding: Resilience in a Time of Grief

"Forget everything you've heard about the grieving process. Jill Smolowe's memoir about the death of her husband and other close family members-and her eventual true-life happy ending-upends conventional wisdom, providing a new narrative for grief. By turns humorous, matter-of-fact, and wise, Smolowe does not shy away from uncomfortable moments. But she also emphasizes moments of grace with an eloquence that will take your breath away. As she probes deeper into her own feelings and motivations, she's never maudlin or histrionic. You'll feel like you're in the company of a wise, funny, rigorously honest and yet compassionate friend. I found myself in tears several times-and I also found myself cheering her on. Her insights about grieving, and moving beyond grief, should be required reading for all humans. I loved this book."
-Christina Baker Kline, author of the New York Times bestseller Orphan Train

"This is an absolute must-read for people struggling with loss."
-Publishers Weekly

"Surprised by her resilience after a series of losses-including the death of her beloved husband-People writer Smolowe has written an uplifting memoir about grieving and moving on."
-People

"Jill is not only a fabulous writer but she discovers in the midst of her sorrow, her insuperable losses, that she has enormous reserves of strength. Hearing about grief from the inside gives me a better notion of how to respond to it."
-Rick Hamlin, Executive Editor, Guideposts

"No one would envy Smolowe's ordeal. But the way she handled it and writes about it? Very much so."
-New Jersey Monthly

"Jill Smolowe has written a moving memoir of loss-and also a uniquely uplifting one. Emphasizing the resilience, not the grief (though she portrays both with a novelist's eye for detail and ear for dialogue), she offers essential insights for those who have lost people they love, or know others who have, or will one day find themselves in one or the other of these positions-in other words, for every one of us. Exploding many truisms about dealing with death and illness, this book provides insight for navigating the perilous path between saying too much or too little, and concrete suggestions by which the bereaved, and those who care about them, can move beyond the ritual 'Let me know if there is anything I can do.'"
-Deborah Tannen, author of the New York Times bestseller You Just Don't Understand

"Many accounts of grief are called 'brave' and 'unsparing, ' but Four Funerals and a Wedding truly is those things. It's the first account from the silent majority who respond to loss not with paralyzing sorrow but with remarkable strength. Jill Smolowe challenges orthodoxies surrounding bereavement and shows how man does not just endure, but prevails."
-Ruth Davis Konigsberg, author of The Truth About Grief
"Jill Smolowe has written an amazing book. What makes the book amazing is that it is not maudlin or sad or sappy. I heartily recommend Four Funerals and a Wedding. Especially since, if you haven't yet had to personally deal with grieving a loved one-you know your time will eventually come."
-Anne Holmes, National Association of Baby Boomer Women

"Magnificent ... an exquisitely honest book."
-Newark Star-Ledger

"There are so many who would benefit from Smolowe's emotional intelligence, warmth and wisdom."
-Dr. Lloyd Sederer, Medical Director, NY State Office of Mental Health, Huffington Post