Feel It All: A Therapist's Guide to Reimagining Your Relationship with Sex
A groundbreaking guide to sexuality that dispels the stale cultural attitudes about sex that leave too many feeling inadequate, and offers an expansive, attachment-based framework to free us and develop bolder, more satisfying relationships with our sexual selves.
When it comes to sex, most people feel insecure. But it's not because we're deficient; it's because we've been under-resourced and miseducated.
Certified sex therapist Casey Tanner argues that our sex lives are a microcosm of every untruth we've internalized about gender, sex, relationships, our bodies, and ourselves. Most of us were taught that healthy sexuality is only for a certain kind of person, in a certain kind of relationship, with a certain kind of body. As a result, the way we've learned how to define "good sex" is reflective of how good, worthy, and loveable we see ourselves.
Feel It All is a comprehensive guide to help everyone uncover their personal misconceptions about sexuality and relationships. Tanner helps you recognize and assess your core beliefs surrounding relationships, sexuality, gender, and more; identify past trauma; find pathways to healing that work for you; and redefine sex based on knowledge and possibilities, rather than potential consequences.
Comprehensive yet accessible, informative, warm, and nonjudgmental, Feel It All provides a pathway for personal healing, creating stronger relationships, and achieving deeper intimacy.
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Casey Tanner (she/they) is a Certified Sex Therapist living in Brooklyn, New York with her three cats. When Casey's initial pursuit of a career in evangelical ministry was disrupted by a mental health crisis, she was forced to reckon with the harmful impact of purity culture on her sexuality. Casey has since made it her mission to disrupt barriers to authenticity by founding The Expansive Group, a sex therapy practice serving over 1,000 clients annually. Casey consults for businesses, healthcare agencies, and universities around the world, her expertise appearing in Oprah, Health, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, and InStyle. Casey was awarded as the American Association of Sexuality, Counseling and Education's "Rising Star" in 2023.
"Casey Tanner shows us how all of us--ALL OF US!--can build a loving, secure relationship with our own sexuality. I want to live in the world they show us in these pages, a world full of healed and healing people, who claim pleasure and peace as their birthright." -- Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Come As You Are and Come Together, co-author of Burnout
"Very few of us have been given the sex education or tools we need to have a secure relationship with sexuality, and Casey Tanner fills in these gaps. Feel It All empowers you to make authentic decisions about your own body, sexuality, and identity, not only giving you the tools to redefine your relationship with sex, but also shifting the cultural narrative around what it means to be sexually secure." -- Laurie Mintz, author of A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex and Becoming Cliterate
"This book is not just the work of a sex therapist, but of someone who has spent decades in therapy wrestling with and liberating their sexuality. The work that Casey invites us to do is not easy. And while it would be easier to turn away, Casey's gentle guidance throughout these pages is a constant invitation to compassionately connect with yourself, to feel all of you, and to ultimately feel freer." -- Dalychia, co-founder of Afrosexology
"With a masterful blend of research, personal anecdotes, and practical advice, Feel It All addresses the profound effects that cultural messaging and attachment wounds have on sexuality. Casey Tanner's work guides readers through the murky territories of intimacy and desire in a helpful and compelling way." -- Lori A. Brotto, PhD, Professor, University of British Columbia, and Canada Research Chair in Women's Sexual Health
"A deeply vulnerable, nuanced, and heartfelt book, perfect for anyone who feels 'broken' when it comes to sex. Spoiler alert: Casey will show you that you're not. And along the way, you'll develop deeper compassion for yourself, a richer experience of your sexuality, and excitement and curiosity about feeling even more." -- Vanessa Marin, New York Times bestselling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life
"'Feel It All!' is the answer you've been searching for! What do we do if we've never been shown that feeling is okay, let alone glorious? How can we open up if we're confused or frightened by our feelings? Happily, the kind, wise, and brilliant Casey Tanner guides us step-by-step through our barriers to letting go. A must-read!" -- Jeffrey Marsh, bestselling author of Take Your Own Advice
"There are few relationships more important than the one we have with our sex and sexuality. Casey Tanner's Feel It All is a bold, visionary approach to understanding just how expansive and fulfilling that relationship can be. Tanner's work is a revelation, providing an essential guide for anyone seeking a more easeful relationship with sex and sexuality." -- Rachel Cargle, author of A Renaissance of Our Own
"I am blown away by Feel It All. Seamlessly blending her journey with research and clinical wisdom, Casey Tanner earns her place as a trustworthy guide. Savor her words as you cultivate the secure sexuality you have always deserved. I will be recommending Feel It All to clients and students for years to come." -- Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, faculty at Northwestern University, bestselling author of Love Every Day and host of the Reimagining Love podcast
