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Aug 12, 2025
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Description
Distance gives you perspective. Bestselling author of Turn the Ship Around! former US Navy Captain David Marquet and professor of psychology Michael Gillespie show you how to make better decisions by becoming your own coach.
Be yourself. Be fully present. Be in the moment. This is a message we hear constantly. While this may be beneficial some of the time, the biggest obstacle to making wiser decisions that actually drive lasting success is ourselves. Being fully immersed in our own limited point of view biases our decisions toward defending our previous actions and maintaining our self-image. We need to exit our me-here-and-now self and get an outside perspective that sees us and the situation we are in objectively. We need a coach.
This book shows us how to become our own coach by using a mental technique called psychological distancing. We do this in three ways: self-distancing, spatial distancing, and temporal distancing. First, we can be someone else, inhabiting another’s perspective. This activates the neutral observer’s outside point of view. Second, we can be somewhere else. We zoom out and see ourselves from afar, as just another person who is part of a larger context. Third, we can be sometime else, imagining that we are our future selves who are thinking back to what we wish we had done today. In each case, we can coach ourselves from this distanced perspective. The result is a powerful and immediate reframe of how we see ourselves, our situation, and what we should do.
Featuring compelling scientific research, business cases, and exercises, Distancing equips us with effective practical tools to reduce anxiety, see more clearly, and make better decisions for ourselves and for our organizations.
Be yourself. Be fully present. Be in the moment. This is a message we hear constantly. While this may be beneficial some of the time, the biggest obstacle to making wiser decisions that actually drive lasting success is ourselves. Being fully immersed in our own limited point of view biases our decisions toward defending our previous actions and maintaining our self-image. We need to exit our me-here-and-now self and get an outside perspective that sees us and the situation we are in objectively. We need a coach.
This book shows us how to become our own coach by using a mental technique called psychological distancing. We do this in three ways: self-distancing, spatial distancing, and temporal distancing. First, we can be someone else, inhabiting another’s perspective. This activates the neutral observer’s outside point of view. Second, we can be somewhere else. We zoom out and see ourselves from afar, as just another person who is part of a larger context. Third, we can be sometime else, imagining that we are our future selves who are thinking back to what we wish we had done today. In each case, we can coach ourselves from this distanced perspective. The result is a powerful and immediate reframe of how we see ourselves, our situation, and what we should do.
Featuring compelling scientific research, business cases, and exercises, Distancing equips us with effective practical tools to reduce anxiety, see more clearly, and make better decisions for ourselves and for our organizations.
Product Details
| Publisher | Portfolio |
| Publish Date | August 12, 2025 |
| Pages | 224 |
| Language | English |
| Type |  Hardback |
| EAN/UPC | 9780593713105 |
| Dimensions | 8.3 X 5.5 X 0.6 inches | 0.7 pounds |
About the Author
L. David Marquet graduated top of class from the U.S. Naval Academy and commanded the nuclear-powered submarine USS Santa Fe. Since retiring from the Navy, he has worked with businesses globally as a leadership consultant and speaks about Intent-Based Leadership around the world. A highly sought-after speaker, his clients include Fortune 500 companies, start-ups, professional sports teams, business schools, and governments. He is the bestselling author of Turn the Ship Around! and Leadership Is Language. His books have been translated into 15 languages.
Michael A. Gillespie is a psychology professor at the University of South Florida, where he specializes in organizational psychology and directs the Human Applied Cognition and Decision-Making Lab. His widely cited research on psychological measurement, organizational culture, and leadership is published in top business and psychology journals. He earned his BA from the University of South Florida, his MA from Michigan State University, and his PhD from Bowling Green State University.
Michael A. Gillespie is a psychology professor at the University of South Florida, where he specializes in organizational psychology and directs the Human Applied Cognition and Decision-Making Lab. His widely cited research on psychological measurement, organizational culture, and leadership is published in top business and psychology journals. He earned his BA from the University of South Florida, his MA from Michigan State University, and his PhD from Bowling Green State University.
Reviews
"[A] cogent survey...includ[ing] plenty of helpful exercises and reflection questions. Readers looking for a new approach to decision-making will be challenged and inspired."
—Publishers Weekly
“We all struggle with the ability to extract ourselves from the immediacy of the moment, to think clearly and objectively, when we become overwhelmed. Distancing provides readers with a tactical, science-based blueprint for managing these situations. Clearly written and deeply researched, it’s a tour de force.”
— Ethan Kross, bestselling author of Shift and Chatter
“Distancing promises an approach that transforms the navigation of both professional challenges and personal dilemmas. Learning to gain distance from yourself is the ultimate cognitive hack: the ability to outsmart your own biases and make decisions that truly align with your long-term goals. These psychological techniques aren’t just theoretical—they’re a radical tool for personal reinvention.”
— Annie Duke, bestselling author of Thinking in Bets and Quit
“Distancing makes so much sense—it should be required reading for earthlings. The stories are page-turners, the science is dazzling, and the advice comes in plain English. Want to level up your life by making smarter decisions? Start with this book.”
— Lynn Sherr, ABC News correspondent and bestselling author
“The best leaders don’t just react—they step back, gain perspective, and make better decisions. Distancing unlocks that hidden ability in all of us. If you want to make better decisions, you need to read this book.”
— Verne Harnish, founder of Entrepreneurs’ Organization and author of Start to Scale
“Just because you are promoted to captain with four golden stripes doesn’t mean you know it all. Distancing gives you the ability to clearly see your mistakes, allowing for the opportunity to improve your plan and strategy for next time. Distancing has given me a lot of insights; it is a great read for anyone in a leadership role.”
— Hans Hederström, former managing director of CSMART
“Why do bridge teams equipped with the necessary information still make bad decisions? This book answers that question and tells us what we can do about it— for ourselves and for our teams.”
— John A. Konrad V., founder of gCaptain
—Publishers Weekly
“We all struggle with the ability to extract ourselves from the immediacy of the moment, to think clearly and objectively, when we become overwhelmed. Distancing provides readers with a tactical, science-based blueprint for managing these situations. Clearly written and deeply researched, it’s a tour de force.”
— Ethan Kross, bestselling author of Shift and Chatter
“Distancing promises an approach that transforms the navigation of both professional challenges and personal dilemmas. Learning to gain distance from yourself is the ultimate cognitive hack: the ability to outsmart your own biases and make decisions that truly align with your long-term goals. These psychological techniques aren’t just theoretical—they’re a radical tool for personal reinvention.”
— Annie Duke, bestselling author of Thinking in Bets and Quit
“Distancing makes so much sense—it should be required reading for earthlings. The stories are page-turners, the science is dazzling, and the advice comes in plain English. Want to level up your life by making smarter decisions? Start with this book.”
— Lynn Sherr, ABC News correspondent and bestselling author
“The best leaders don’t just react—they step back, gain perspective, and make better decisions. Distancing unlocks that hidden ability in all of us. If you want to make better decisions, you need to read this book.”
— Verne Harnish, founder of Entrepreneurs’ Organization and author of Start to Scale
“Just because you are promoted to captain with four golden stripes doesn’t mean you know it all. Distancing gives you the ability to clearly see your mistakes, allowing for the opportunity to improve your plan and strategy for next time. Distancing has given me a lot of insights; it is a great read for anyone in a leadership role.”
— Hans Hederström, former managing director of CSMART
“Why do bridge teams equipped with the necessary information still make bad decisions? This book answers that question and tells us what we can do about it— for ourselves and for our teams.”
— John A. Konrad V., founder of gCaptain
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