Book of Nonsense: Humor

Description

1. There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, "It is just as I feared -Two Owls and a Hen, Four Larks and a Wren, Have all built their nests in my beard " 2. There was a Young Lady of Ryde, Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;She purchased some clogs, And some small spotty dogs, And frequently walked about Ryde. 3. There was an Old Man with a nose, Who said, "If you choose to suppose, That my nose is too long, You are certainly wrong "That remarkable Man with a nose. 4. There was an Old Man on a hill, Who seldom, if ever, stood still;He ran up and down, In his Grandmother's gown, Which adorned that Old Man on a hill. 5. There was a Young Lady whose bonnet, Came untied when the birds sate upon it;But she said, "I don't care All the birds in the airAre welcome to sit on my bonnet " 6. There was a Young Person of Smyrna, Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;But she seized on the Cat, And said, "Granny, burn that "You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna " 7. There was an Old Person of Chili, Whose conduct was painful and silly;He sate on the stairs, Eating apples and pears, That imprudent Old Person of Chili. 8. There was an Old Man with a gong, Who bumped at it all the day long;But they called out, "O law You're a horrid old bore "So they smashed that Old Man with a gong. 9. There was an Old Lady of Chertsey, Who made a remarkable curtsey;She twirled round and round, Till she sunk underground, Which distressed all the people of Chertsey. 10. There was an Old Man in a tree, Who was horribly bored by a Bee;When they said, "Does it buzz?"He replied, "Yes, it does "It's a regular brute of a Bee " 11. There was an Old Man with a flute, A sarpint ran into his boot;But he played day and night, Till the sarpint took flight, And avoided that man with a flute. 12. There was a Young Lady whose chin, Resembled the point of a pin: So she had it made sharp, And purchased a harp, And played several tunes with her chin. 13. There was an Old Man of Kilkenny, Who never had more than a penny;He spent all that money, In onions and honey, That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny. 14. There was an Old Person of Ischia, Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;He danced hornpipes and jigs, And ate thousands of figs, That lively Old Person of Ischia. 15. There was an Old Man in a boat, Who said, "I'm afloat I'm afloat "When they said, "No you ain't "He was ready to faint, That unhappy Old Man in a boat. 16. There was a Young lady of Portugal, Whose ideas were excessively nautical;She climbed up a tree, To examine the sea, But declared she would never leave Portugal. 17. There was an Old Man of Moldavia, Who had the most curious behaviour;For while he was able, He slept on a table, That funny Old Man of Moldavia 18. There was an Old Man of Madras, Who rode on a cream-coloured ass;But the length of its ears, So promoted his fears, That it killed that Old Man of Madras. ...