A Family, Maybe: Two Dads, Two Babies, and the Court Cases That Brought Us Together

I loved this riveting, well-paced, moving account of two gay men persevering in their determination to create a family through the foster-to-adoption process. The ups and downs as they work their way through the maze of the foster system had me turning pages long after bedtime. The cruelty of a haphazard legal system comes through loud and clear. But those two little girls, a toddler and her baby sister, could not have found better heroes. An inspiring portrait of steadfast love under pressure.

--Janet Fitch, author of White Oleander, an Oprah's Book Club selection and a New York Times bestseller

Lane and Jon's story brings attention to the still existing barriers to supporting children in need of a loving home. It helps to guide and comfort future parents through the challenging foster and adoption processes and shines a bright light on why we fight. I hope everyone who cares about justice and fairness reads this important memoir. It's a story of hope and perseverance.

--Alan Lowenthal, US Congressman

A Family, Maybe is a breathtaking exploration of the intricacies and challenges that adults and children face when navigating the path through foster care adoption. With heartfelt compassion, Lane thoughtfully unravels the layers of societal perceptions, system bureaucracies, legal delays, and paralyzing fears that can hinder the path to building or growing a loving family. . .His powerful storytelling reminds us that love knows no boundaries, that love is love, and that every child deserves a loving family and a safe home.

--Rita L. Soronen, President & CEO, Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

Lane's book is a must-read for any prospective fost-adopt caregiver. From the court and visitation detail to the relationship pressures and regular life issues of work and housing-it's all riveting. The fost-adopt process . . . can look incredibly complex, cumbersome, and even biased. Seeing that there can be a happy ending should inspire hope and help everyone involved understand the complexity of the process, and the possibility of forging greater love in a chosen family . . . we, as a system and a society, are grateful for families like Lane's that show up for these children.

--Jenny Serrano, Children's Services Administrator, Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services

A Family, Maybe is an important lesson from a difficult, but, ultimately, transformative era when California's LGBTQ+ community was struggling to gain acceptance, respect, and equal rights. . . as gay and lesbian families were moving out of the darkness and into the national spotlight. . .Thankfully, through decades of organizing, much has changed. While the struggles of Lane's generation of gay men are beginning to fade, this memoir preserves a record of what it took to make a family in those pre-equality days: the joys, the perils, and the costs. . .

--California State Senator Sheila Kuehl, the state's first openly gay legislator and a founder of the California Legislative LGBTQ Caucus

Remarkably honest and timely, A Family, Maybe personalizes the experience of the surging number of LGBTQ+ adoptive parents who came of age in the 2000s. . . They pushed the boundaries of both the LGBTQ+ and adoptive-parent movements, battling discrimination and a broken child welfare system . . . Lane's memoir shows a thriving, multiracial and multicultural family based on love, stability, and an infinite devotion to their kids. At a time when foster care and adoption agencies have again been given a license to discriminate against LGBTQ+ perspective parents. . . the story of Lane and Jon's family needs to be told and shared. . .

--Stacey Stevenson, CEO, Family Equality, the nation's LGBTQ family advocacy organization

Lane Igoudin's A Family, Maybe, is an important addition to the adoption-memoir canon. With great compassion and masterful storytelling, Lane recounts his struggle to create a family amid crushing, often mind-boggling bureaucracy of the foster system, ever complicated by the birth parents' heartbreaking and earnest attempts at reunification. However murky the fates of their parenthood seemed sometimes, the unbridled, steadfast love Lane and his partner bestowed on their girls can serve as a clear beacon for all of us.

--Vanessa McGrady, author of the critically acclaimed Rock Needs River: A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption

In this tumultuous time of anti-LGBTQ+ attacks, it is rare to find the brave soul willing to tell the complicated, tender story of building a family. Yet Lane does so here, finding the unique threads of trans-racial adoption in and among the universal fabric of parenthood. Despite cultural forces wishing us ill, Lane unites the LGBTQ+ community by sharing his family-building journey with the world--shining a much-needed light upon the kids and families that make us whole.

--Trystan Reese, author of How We Do Family, a 2021 Foreword INDIES Winner

A Family, Maybe is an honest and inviting first-hand account of one father's journey toward adoption. . . Written with clarity, honesty, and love, Lane's memoir captures the longing for children that any parent or would-be parent can relate to. Keep this book by your bedside table. It will build your resilience and give you hope!

--Dasee Berkowitz, parent educator and author of Becoming a Soulful Parent: A Path to the Wisdom Within

A Family, Maybe opens with an emotional hook to the heart . . . The people who populate the pages of the book are well-drawn. We know them. They are our family members and our neighbors, which makes the story both poignant and compelling.

--Greta Boris, a USA TODAY bestselling author