The Girlfriend Mom: A Memoir

Dani Alpert (Author)


Can you ditch the guy and keep his kids?

Dani (intentionally child-free) fell in love with someone with kids. Facing inherent complications, she reluctantly became a quasi-parental figure, worrying how (or if) she would (or could) love (or like) her boyfriend's kids. She struggled to set boundaries, ricocheting between them and me while addressing her hang-ups, biases, and immaturity. And just when she couldn't imagine life without the kids, she was dumped for a natural blonde.

Adrift in an avalanche of hurt, Dani wouldn't be ignored, not after seven years. Love wouldn't be denied, and she and the kids wouldn't break up.

Alpert's darkly funny memoir takes us through the ups and downs of making, un-making, and then re-making a new family. It's a story about unconditional love, unimaginable friendship, and a fierce tenacity to fight for what is right. It's about human connections and the relationships you never saw coming. The Girlfriend Mom explores what it means to not only love but to be loved.

The role of a Girlfriend Mom is little understood and widely undervalued. No one talks about how to navigate this undefined territory. Dani's distinctive position and perspective is representative of the growing communities of DIY families. Her look at the world, and the circumstances that created The Girlfriend Mom, allow readers to join her journey without putting themselves in immediate danger.

Product Details

$12.95  $11.91
Little Ricky Press
Publish Date
May 05, 2020
5.24 X 7.99 X 0.7 inches | 0.79 pounds

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About the Author

Dani's first headshot was her mug shot taken after getting arrested for tagging in the New York suburban town where she grew up. She's been trying to reclaim those glory days ever since. She spent twenty-five plus years working as a screenwriter, performer, and director. She wrote, directed and starred in the film parody A Really Intimate Portrait . . . of a Complete Unknown. Her writing has appeared in publications including Medium, HuffPost, theWoolfer, theGirlfriend, Stepmom Magazine, and the Hollywood Journal. She's spoken at lifestyle conferences and been interviewed on nationally syndicated radio shows for being the Girlfriend Mom. Dani placed second in the 2014 US National Pole Championships. Pictures provided upon request.


The Girlfriend Mom is a laugh-filled memoir about going through the imperfect experiences of joining with a family. Dani Alpert's darkly funny memoir is about forging a relationship with her divorced boyfriend's children. Narrated with honesty and wit, the book airs grievances and frustrations with nuance, flair, and comedic sensibilities. Biting humor... astute observations and juxtapositions enliven scenes. Song lyrics open each chapter to set the tone; the book's catchy chapter titles are complementary. Each person in Alpert's story is made multidimensional, evincing a deep understanding of human foibles and compassion for others. Uncertainty and heartbreak are imparted in an unflinching manner, resulting in satisfying, bittersweet lessons.-- Forward-Clarion Reviews

"Her boobs are real, and so is her attitude. Witty, engaging, and sweetly sharp, she's a new comic voice to reckon with." - Ali Wentworth, Actress and New York Times bestselling author

"Just when you thought the definitions of the American family had become as broad and diverse as they could be, here comes Dani's hilariously honest look at her own!" - Dan Bucatinsky, Emmy Award-winning Actor and Author

"Uncensored and fearless... The Girlfriend Mom is a gutsy book and a real (hilarious) look at the modern family!"- Heather Dubrow, The Real Housewives of Orange County, Actress, and Author

"In her humorous new book, The Girlfriend Mom, she shares the good, the bad and the oh, so funny of taking on the role of an uncompensated babysitter-turned-confidant who can't imagine life without her boyfriend's kids. That is, until she has to, seven years later, when she's dumped for a natural blonde."--NYU Alumni, Class Notes​​​​​​​

"The Girlfriend Mom is a compelling and modern book about families--those we are born into and those we choose to be a part of. Touching and moving, this book will make you laugh, cry, cringe in recognition, and delight in Dani's willingness to look like an ass." --Anonymous