Flaming Iguanas: An Illustrated All-Girl Road Novel Thing

Erika Lopez (Author)



Magdalena and I are gonna cross America on two motorcycles. We're gonna be so fucking cool, mirrors and windows will break when we pass by. We'll have our own hardcore theme music that makes us throw our heads back and bite the sky, and women wearing pink foam curlers in passing RVs will desire us and we'll slowly turn to them at seventy-five miles an hour and mouth "hello" back. Bugs may stick to my burgundy lipstick, but I'll just spit them back and they'll look all the prettier for it.

Yeah / cooool. Two party bags of drugstore ice on motorcyces. The sun wouldn't dare melt us because it would be a big, huge, major mistake.

We're gonna ride from armpit to armpit across the chest of America, joyridefull-throttle down the crack of Tennessee's ass. Bite a Grand Teton andgoose Amarillo, Texas.

Bypass Florida altogether because you get old there like "real" fast.

Sloppy kiss the greasy lips of Louisiana.

Caress the cool, clean underside of a butcherblock from a slaughterhousesomewhere in Montana.

Hey, there are a zillion ways to say you're going cross-country and Hallmark has a card just for you.

We'll be riding the cheapest motorcycles we can find / stopping every forty-five minutes for gas. Truck stop waitresses will wink and jam dollar bills in our happy little beautifully tanned fists, but we'll whisper "no thanks, " because we don't need it / we'll live off the fumes from our estrogen.

And we'll be spitting out mango pits like fucking bullets if anyone says anything about our huge Latin American breasts.

Copyright © 1997 by Erika Lopez

Product Details

Simon & Schuster
Publish Date
November 17, 1998
7.5 X 0.7 X 9.2 inches | 1.1 pounds
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About the Author

Erika Lopez lives a much too happy life in San Francisco being the sidekick to her two best friends, Mark and Mary. They all live on the same block. They walk big, leaky dogs and forget to whisper when they talk about other people's butts. Previously she launched Lap Dancing for Mommy into the world and her new book is They Call Me Mad Dog!: A Story for Bitter, Lonely People, but that won't be all. She's got plans. Big plans for big girls in little clothes


Patricia Holt San Francisco Chronicle Lopez gives Tomato an outlaw integrity that Thelma and Louise only hinted at. Tomato's quest for identity and freedom actually becomes our own.
Karen Helfrich Lambda Book Report There's a sizable, rebelliously tasteless portion of our reading public who will soon want to make Lopez their cartoonist pillow queen.
James S. Howard The Fresno Bee It's a fun, fast, and fabulous first novel.
Judy McGuire Paper A potty mouth with a heart of gold.
Natasha Stovall The Village Voice Lopez catches fire to three-chord punk rock, splattering her psychic guts all over the page, leaving nothing to the imagination.
Feminist Bookstore News Not for the faint of heart....Racy, raunchy, riotously funny, and hilariously incisive.