Conflict Communication: A New Paradigm in Conscious Communication

Rory Miller (Author) Gregory Postal (Foreword by)


Conflict happens everywhere: at work, with friends and family, among strangers, and certainly in violence. Why did your boss ignore a suggestion that could save millions of dollars? Why do you have the same argument again and again with your spouse? When someone insults you, why do you get angry? Why do bad guys beat up the weak?

You have three brains.

  • Lizard brain (survival)
  • Monkey brain (emotion / social status)
  • Human brain (reason)

Each "brain" has a different priority and evolved to deal with different kinds of conflict. They work using different scripts and have a very clear seniority system.

Conflict Communication(ConCom) presents a functional taxonomy to see, understand, and manipulate the roots of life's conflicts. You will have the background, the principles, and a collection of tricks to manage and ideally avoid dangerous conflicts.

No going back. After reading this book, you can never go back. Even if you reject everything in the program, even if you refuse to admit how often your monkey brain has controlled your life, escalations toward conflict will never again be invisible to you.

As the fortune cookie says, "Your life is about to change."

Product Details

$18.95  $17.43
YMAA Publication Center
Publish Date
June 01, 2015
6.0 X 8.9 X 0.5 inches | 0.65 pounds

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About the Author

Rory Miller, author has served for 17 years in corrections as an officer and sergeant, working maximum security, booking, and mental health. In 2010, he began collaborating with Marc MacYoung for a police verbal de-escalation program. That program became ConCom. Not just for police, ConCom has been taught in 8 countries and to groups ranging from police academies to hospitals and factories. Rory Miller resides in the Pacific Northwest.


A set of extremely effective tools for predicting, avoiding, and managing conflicts.--MAJ Gregory Postal, MD
Like the Post-it(R) note, Conflict Communications is something you never knew you needed but cannot live without. The materials are straightforward and easy to apply, yet profoundly insightful. Once you begin to recognize the patterns that Miller describes within yourself and others it will forever change the way you interact. Armed with this new information I was able to resolve a longstanding deadlock on a $168M contract in less than two hours. It's amazingly powerful and wholeheartedly recommended.--Lawrence Kane, Sensei; Sr. Leader, ITI Strategy, Sourcing, and Asset Management at a Fortune(R) 50 company; best selling author
...a priceless skill...--Jack Hoban
Should be mandatory reading...--Tony Blauer, Blauer Tactical Systems
Breaks out of the martial arts and law enforcement genre...--Jeffrey Cooper, MD, Emergency Physician, Tactical Physician, 6th Dan, Okinawan Goju-Ryu Karate
The standard by which others [writing] on the subject shall be judged.--Steve Perry, New York Times bestselling author, Shadows of the Empire
Won't just help your relationships, it just might save your life.--Alain B. Burrese, JD
A manual of advice born of long experience with violence...Unpleasant but useful information, particularly for those who routinely come in contact with highly aggressive people.--Kirkus
Concise, helpful, and well-organized, this is strongly recommended reading for those interested in learning to verbally de-escalate violence.--Foreword Reviews